What I've Been Up To

 It’s been a long time.

Most of the things I saw and experienced are written down on physical paper since I wrote faster than I could type. Been sending letters to friends too, taking my sweet time churning out words that might or might not be understood, felt and cherished.  Done on a whim, whatever’s written on it can be re-read by the recipient, not pressured by an imaginary time limit to reply fast like social media. It’s physical, able to be kept somewhere. Handwritten letters add a personal touch to the communication, as it can change depending on someone’s mood. Tried using a typewriter too, but only on occasion to type formal letters, since I don’t own a printer. That thing still works wonders when I needed sentences arranged neatly in rows and spaced evenly.

Brazil-made Olivetti Tropical

Been to places, done things, met new people, learnt new language(s), watched shows, built stuff in the span of 4 years since the last post. The passage of time sure is scary, one moment you’re still a kid and in a blink, poof – joined the society in the rat race. Days passed, and then weeks and before realizing it, next year is already around the corner. That will be the time when I’ll be quieter than usual (not that I talked much in real life) because along with the arrival of New Year, I grew older. Normally people will be happy nearing their birthday but instead I spent the time questioning the purpose of life, have some existential crisis, moping around before deciding to finally cherish this existence and treat myself to something nice.

Then coronavirus hits.

                Am not a person who went out much apart from going to work and meeting friends, restrictions of movements in Malaysia doesn’t feel that bad to me. We are still allowed to go out to get groceries since eating out is prohibited, and I being in the essential services got to move (not so) freely so my fellow countryperson could bring literal food to the table. We are all important, from the lowest rung of the ladder to the front liners. Heck, delivery persons are hailed as heroes too nowadays. So don’t be sad if you felt useless, your existence has a purpose but might not be in the way people generally think.

                Spending 6 hours straight of non-family human contact every single day (unless it’s important holidays) wore me out, since I am more inclined to rest at home in the evening, napping or indulging in my hobbies. Speaking of which, a friend of mine lent me a PS4 disc, Death Stranding which upon playing, I noticed some real-life parallels to the Covid 19 pandemic. Set in a world where people are isolated from each other, the only way for them to get supplies and resources are from delivery person, known as porters. Just like our take-out pizza boy, right to our doorsteps without us having to drive. The point of this game is connection between people. I myself haven’t finished the game and might write a hopefully-non-spoiler review on it. 

                Tried VRChat too when a friend coaxed me, but my laptop crashed when I'm genuinely enjoying interacting with people around the world. Bummer. So much different worlds to explore, either you can hang around in a spot, play some multiplayer games together (survival horror is fun with more people in it), visit places from popular shows or just sit around together, talking about common interest or catching up on things happening outside their country. Just like in real life, some people will be fun to talk to and then there will also be trolls who just wants to get a rise out of everybody. Eventually I stopped logging in since it required frequent updating which felt like a hassle. Socializing in the morning is enough for me, I guess.

"Gobsmacked", a kindly polyglot who explains language-related stuff

                Would recommend it if you can carry conversations, wants more online friends from all around the world, and have a good PC that can handle this virtual social platform. Definitely get a headphone/earset with a good microphone although playing as a mute is not frowned upon. To the friends I have made there, if you found me by the suspiciously familiar domain name of the blog, know that I cherished the late-night (using my time zone) conversations we had together. Wishing y'all the best in these trying times.

 

Random Musings of an Introverted Person

While on an outing with an old childhood friend, we stopped by at McDonald’s since her siblings are feeling a bit peckish. I let them purchase their food first while I lingered around a CD booth to look for interesting movies and only after a while I joined them. About time I was beginning to get hungry too, but seeing the queue is long enough to reach our seat, I decided to wait for a moment since only one available counter is open. Took long enough for the queue to subside so I decided to join the queue.

Upon closer inspection the counter next to it is actually open and a man dressed sharp in business clothes, ties and all is waiting patiently there for the workers to get his order, just beside a long line of people. Being me, I noticed NOBODY dared to queue behind him, all alone and comfortable waiting there with ample space as opposed to the line of 8-12 people jostling together just to get their order. Maybe the line is slow on the other side. I decided to wait for a while to observe whether someone with a sound mind decided to line up behind the long queue, or behind the blissfully waiting businessman. Nobody did, instead they opt to choose the line with the larger group of people.

Being my oblivious, deviant self (and too hungry to care), I trotted to the counter just beside the businessman since he is just waiting and not ordering. Wearing red clothes at that time wasn’t the only reason that I may have attracted stares of disbelief from the long lines of doom. Wasn’t jumping the queue so I had no reason to feel guilty. This is a gamble that I took since waiting behind the only waiting person is better that joining the long lines of doom, at least I have greater chance of getting my food faster this way. Sure, while waiting beside the still-waiting businessman already a customer has been served. Another one, and then another and still the businessman’s order is nowhere in sight.

At this point of course I have questioned my life decision, thinking it would be more convenient to follow the crowd beside me. But thinking logically, it would be best to stay put since more people had queued in the long line of doom. Somebody might have formed a snarky idea in his head about a lone girl who stands beside a person who already waited long enough, “What a fool! If only she queued in our line she would be getting her food faster.” Whatever, I have decided and I should stay true to my decision. Then the cashier came with all the orders and the businessman got his food and went away, contented. Yay. Then I got to order my food with a triumphant feeling of beating the line beside me, if I were to queue there.

Only then I saw people started to flock behind me, sensing an opportunity of a shorter queue. Dude, why didn’t you do it sooner? Are you perhaps scared to stand beside some sharp-dressed guy? This thing never fail to amuse me till now. Perhaps I am thinking too much, but hey, there must be a reason why this happens.

            Munching on my reward of being on the shortest queue (2 person vs 10+ person before others joined in), I pondered upon this occurrence. Maybe some psychological factor is in play. Is it herd/mob mentality? A strong desire to conform to the crowd? Or scared of grabbing a new opportunity? Mulling over my curiosity, I considered all the aforementioned reasons to be plausible before panicking. If I have witnessed this effect is in play in a small scale, then surely this thing has happened before in a larger scale, too. Like something deeply ingrained in a society, people following blindly what others do just to fit in. And what if some individual decided to weaponize this ‘mob mentality’ to control people’s actions and using it for nefarious purposes? *Opens history book* Oh wait, there is so many examples here…What a paranoia-inducing thought.

            Since then I have decided that it is truly okay to be different from everybody else. Being human with free will, your choices in life should be based upon what you believed in, not what others are currently doing.